One of the biggest financial disasters that people can experience in retirement is divorce. In this episode, Grace Kvantas chats with licensed marriage and family therapist, Lesli Doares.
Lesli shares warning signs to look out for, misconceptions about keeping finances separate, and why couples should seek marriage counseling in retirement. Your marriage affects every aspect of your life. Listen in to learn how you can improve it.
Grey Divorce Could Cripple Your Retirement
Grey divorce has been in the news lately due to the rising rates of divorce in partners that are in their 50s and 60s. This phenomenon is caused by several factors. Many times people put their marriages on autopilot during their working years. They don’t spend quality time together and once they are faced with an empty nest the marriage is so far gone they don’t know how to get it back.
People don’t typically plan their marriage the way they plan their finances, retirement their kids’ education, or their career trajectories. Without a proper plan in place, marriage can fall by the wayside.
Red Flags That Could Lead to Divorce
While it takes two people to get married it only takes one person to get divorced. So, look out for these things to check if your marriage might be in danger.
Do you resolve difficult situations well? Can you communicate well about difficult topics? Have you stopped discussing your relationship?
How to Handle Disagreements
⅔ of marital arguments go unresolved and that’s fine–you can’t agree on everything. It’s the ⅓ of important things that are essential to find common ground.
However, you should never agree to something that you don’t agree to. If you feel like you don’t have a choice, the decision will lead to bitterness.
There is one thing that people think they have to do that is actually more of a danger to the marriage: compromise. Compromise breeds resentment. When you feel that you have to sacrifice to make things work it leads to discontent.
By setting up a joint agreement policy about certain issues then you can decide which topics are so important that you both have to agree upon them to take action.
Remember, marriage is a meeting of equals.
Save Your Marriage, Save Your Retirement
Divorce is the number one risk to a couple’s finances. If you divorce in your 50s or 60s you’ll lose half your nest egg and future income at a time when you won’t have time to make it up.
What would your life be like if you lost 50% of your potential income? In most cases, it is better to repair the marriage than to end it. 85-90% of marriages that end in divorce could be resolved. Learn what you can do to bring back the connection in your marriage.
Outline of This Episode
[0:53] Our article of the week
[3:02] The troubles with grey divorce
[7:02] The red flags to look for in a marriage
[15:22] The long-term effects of grey divorce
[21:01] The myth of keeping finances separate
Resources & People Mentioned
Connect With Chad and Grace
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Chad Smith
Chad Smith is a Certified Financial Planner™. He is an active member of NAPFA, the Financial Planning Association, and FPA’s NexGen. He has been quoted and appeared on WSJ.com, Bloomberg.com, Businessweek.com, Msn.com, Financial Planning Magazine, Triangle Business Journal, and Investment News.
Grace Kvantas
Grace is a partner and Certified Financial PlannerTM with over 12 years of experience in financial planning. She helps busy families and individuals plan for retirement, save taxes, and simplify their financial life.