Tag: decades

Psychology says people who reach their 60s without close friends aren’t the ones who lost everyone along the way — many of them made a series of quiet, deliberate choices over decades to stop investing in relationships that required them to perform, accommodate, or shrink, and what looks like loneliness from the outside is often the result of finally choosing themselves
Behavioral scientists found that the people who become less likeable with age but more respected are operating on a principle most people understand intellectually but can’t execute emotionally — that respect and likeability are often inversely correlated after 60, because likeability requires you to shrink and respect requires you to hold your shape, and most people spent their first six decades shrinking and their last two deciding that holding their shape matters more than fitting into someone else’s frame
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